Empowering Yourself with Your Fertility

I want to share my journey of empowering myself by virtue of accepting the fact that I am a woman and that is an incredible thing! Like many I had a rocky introduction into this world of fertility. Fear based and entirely focused on not making the mistake of getting pregnant at a young age. This message sunk in and stung as I felt the ramifications ripple through me from taking hormonal contraceptive pills. The understanding became that my fertility was something to be feared. It was best to lock it away, shove it down, control it.

On the progesterone pill or POP as it is known, my womb shut down. No menstruation, no highs or lows. It felt like the female aspect to my being flat lined. At this time, I had only been menstruating for a few years and I was at the beginning of my journey of experiencing making love. For that part of me to shut off at that time in my life was desperately disorientating. It left me feeling like I was not a woman but externally I still looked like one and therefore had to act like one. The core of the issue though I realised many years later. In speaking to other women about this I have found many of us are putting tremendous pressure on ourselves to embody these feminine qualities. The disconnect became clear to me. Many women are trying to be women without having the monthly experience of being a woman,

What does it mean to not have the experience of being a woman?

Each month the experience of a cycle brings about a wave of changes. Diving into the different phases of the menstrual cycle, I came to a space of acceptance and love for myself. This arose because it became clear from my experiences of observing my cycle that I am essentially embodying a different aspect of myself each week. Sharing this with my partner, he also had a good laugh and agreed this was true!

Let’s look at these phases of the menstrual cycle. After reading this, I would invite you to sit with yourself for a few minutes. Close your eyes and think back on previous cycles. Coming back into those memories and experiences to recall how you felt and what you felt drawn to at different times of the month. Important to note here that if you have been taking hormonal contraceptives, then the body is not cycling in its natural state. This insight is from naturally cycling and finding inspiration in other women’s interpretations of these phases.

Day 1 of the cycle is the first day of bleeding, representative of the invitation to retreat from the world, restore and reflect. This is when energy levels are at there lowest and we are releasing all that has built up throughout the month. When we shed blood we also let go of the emotions and experiences that occurred in the previous month. This can be an uncomfortable time for some women. I have found when I do not listen to my body during this time, it creates more symptoms of discomfort to encourage me to slow down. Taking care of yourself during this time can be a beautiful act of self-love. Prioritising rest and carving out space to do some journaling to encourage the release of the past month will have a ripple effect into the coming weeks of that cycle.

After around seven days we enter a dynamic phase. This is a great time to organise, plan and get things lined up for the month. With a clear headspace, feeling fresh from resting during menstruation, the body and mind feel re-vitalized. Any decisions that were postponed during the rest of menstruation can be looked at again with fresh eyes. I love this time of reaching back into the world after a little hibernation. After a restful few days, I feel excited to engage with my work again. Integrating any insights I may have received during my reflective time.

Coming into the middle of the cycle we have the event of ovulation. On average this is sometime between day 12-16. This is the best time to slot in time for socializing. Catching up with friends, business meetings or connecting with family. During these days the energy is extroverted and primed for expression. Maybe you have reflected on an idea during menstruation, then did some planning during the dynamic time, the ovulatory phase is the period to share that idea with people. Having this knowledge about yourself is wonderful because you can plan and try to arrange social engagements for the time when you have the most vibrant energy for it.

As the days go on, the extroverted energy fades a little and we enter the creative phase. Not quiet as introverted as menses but we are on our way there. Dialling down on the socializing time, the energy in this phase can be used for creation. The idea has been mulled over during menstruation, planned in the dynamic time, expressed and possibly refined through socializing… now is the time to focus on creating it. Reflecting on previous cycles I have noticed that I can get quite agitated during this phase. When I look at that frustration, I see it arises from not making the space for myself to retreat and work on my own creations. I might be stuck in the socializing phase caring for everyone else. With that frustration comes lack of patience, resulting in me realising it would be best for everyone if I take my creative time!

Having a deeper level of awareness has been truly magical in my life. I feel like I am working symbiotically with my cycle. It empowers me and allows me to plan and create wonderful things. It also encourages me to rest and reflect. Having awareness of the energies in my body, I feel I can do anything I want to. However, there are certain times that work optimally with my body and womb. Taking a moment to align with my womb enables me to embody by best self. My womb has been a wonderful teacher to me. I hope this helps pave a path for you to come a little closer to living in harmony with your fertility.